OK, I have seen The Last Jedi twice now and I’m ready to review. The critics have praised the film, but the fans seem split nearly 50/50. In B3 style, we’ll do the Good, the Badass, and Ugly.
The Good
Rey’s Parentage – I was relieved that Rey wasn’t a Skywalker or a Kenobi. Not everyone has to be someone’s child. A galaxy is a big place. Plus, all the stupid fanboy theories were wrong, which is great.
Snoke’s Background – Again screw you stupid fanboys. “Snoke is Boba Fett!” These theories annoy me and never have any solid evidence to back them up. Snoke was a McGuffin, let’s move on.
Chewie Kicking in Luke’s Door – Chewie always delivers. What else is there to say? Though I would have liked to have seen some interaction between Chewie and Luke, I mean they have been friends for like forty or fifty years.
Benicio Del Toro – Benny the Bull does a great job, even if his betrayal is super predictable.
The Badass
Hamil’s Performance – I love me some Skywalker, but Mark Hamil’s acting in the OT is just OK. Fast forward to 2018 and MH delivers a seriously badass performance. The greatest moment in the film is when he struts through the hole in the blast door to meet the First Order and Kylo Ren. (Side note: does anyone want to cosplay as Kylo Ren and Stimpy with me at Gen Con 2018?)
The Throneroom Fight – The fight that follows Snoke’s death is pretty sweet. though did you notice there wasn’t a lightsaber battle in this movie?
“Oh, they hate that ship!” – That is the greatest line in the movie! I laughed my awkward concave ass off at that one.
Holdo’s Jump – I’ve been waiting for this since forever. Though, I think we could do with more Laura Dern, IMO.
The Ugly
Leia’s Peter Pan Spacewalk – This was fucking lame. Like Gungan bad. Carrie Fisher is dead, this was a perfect opportunity to let the rest of the old guard go. We have a suitable new guard replacement with Vice Adm. Holdo (had).
The Weird Milking – This was weird and should have ended up on the cutting room floor. Same with the giant fish. They already showed a catch of normal-sized drying, why did we need an Episode One weirdo fish?
The Plot – The largest problem with the Last Jedi was the main plot of the First Order slowly chasing the Resistance in some kind of OJ White Bronco chase at 13 MPH. The First Order had literally thousands of TIE fighters, shuttles and support craft that could outrun the big Mon Cal ship. Seriously, each star destroyer carries 72 TIE fighters. Not to mention the obvious question, why not just jump in front of them?
The Gender Inequality Over-Correction – The new Star Wars movies have some strong female characters, which is awesome. The problem I saw with the Last Jedi, is that the male characters have been made into reckless & unwise (Poe) or completely useless & unwise (Finn), while every female character is a Leia-level badass. As my wife pointed out, the men have all become detergent commercial dads, this weak, useless idiot that needs to be instructed by his wife and bossy daughter. You don’t need weak male characters to have strong female roles.
Old Tropes – This movie was about killing the past, but it still used many of the old tropes, Dagobah Island, throne room betrayals, charging super lasers, etc. Each had a slight twist, so we’re getting closer, but we still rely on Falcon Ex Machina moments to save the day.
Finn – I like Finn, I think John Boyega does a great job, but Finn has no role in this film, and his subplot is literally useless and tacked on. I would like to have seen Poe replace Rose as P & F have some great buddy comedy potential.
Hux – The general was kind of a tool in FA, but is comically absurd in LJ.
But, but…Porgs! You didn’t mention Porgs?! The Porgs were on the screen for less a minute, not long enough to offend. All in all, I enjoyed the Last Jedi. It was good, but not great. Hopefully, the third movie can be original. We’ve plundered the OT for all its goodness, and know it is time for some original content.
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